Shikamaru and Temari's Txt Msg Brkup
by Moonlight Music Mistress
Summary: What happens when Shikamaru breaks up with Temari via text message? Trouble, chaos and a very angry Temari! There's not really any pairings, but it's anti ShikaTema, and somewhat pro ShikaIno.


Title: Shikamaru and Temari's Txt Msg Brkup

Author: Moonlight Music Mistress

Pairing: No set pairing, but anti ShikaTema and somewhat pro ShikaIno

Summary: What happens when Shikamaru breaks up with Temari via text message? Trouble, chaos and a very angry Temari!!

**Omg!! I love this idea!! I was listening to the song Txt Msg Brkup by Kelly, and I thought of this fic!! It's anti ShikaTema, and kinda sorta pro ShikaIno. Well, enough rambling, let's READ!!**

**This fic is set when Shikamaru is fifteen and Temari is eighteen, a.k.a. post timeskip. **

**P.S. Some of the lyrics in this song are explicit. I changed them around in case younger readers read this.**

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It was a normal, quiet night at the Sand Sibling's house. Temari had just cooked dinner, and she, Kankuro, and Gaara were eating it quietly.

"Mmm, Temari, this udon is good!!" Kankuro complimented. Temari smiled and said thanks to Kankuro.

...Awkward silence...

"So...what's up?" Kankuro asked. All three of them obviously were at lack of a topic.

Gaara decided to finally speak. "Temari, how are things going with you and Shikamaru?" he asked.

Temari smiled and flushed slightly. "Shikamaru-kun and I? Oh, we're fine thanks!!"

"You've been dating for two years now, haven't you? And you're almost nineteen!! Get married already!!" Kankuro commented.

"Heh, I know right? But lazy boy won't propose!! And a lady is not supposed to propose!!"

"Give him time, Temari." Gaara said.

"Eh, you're right. He'll come to his senses soon and propose."

Suddenly, Temari's cell phone started ringing. She had just gotten a text. Temari squealed. "Oh, hold on guys!! Just got a new text!!" Temari flipped open her cell. "It's from Shika-baby!!"

Kankuro snorted and leaned into Gaara's ear. "Women and their text messages." Gaara rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Okay, what does the text message say?" Temari asked.

Temari read the text message.

_I m brakeing up wit u_

Suddenly, Temari's face turned all red from anger. Kankuro and Gaara looked at her questioningly. "You're not constipated again, are you Temari?" Gaara asked.

Temari squeezed her cell phone in her hand. She squeezed it so hard that the phone broke!! "THAT LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING IMBECILE!!" Temari hollered. "WHY WOULD SHIKAMARU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME!!"

Kankuro and Gaara's eyes got all wide. Their jaws dropped to the floor. Literally, not figuratively. They put their hands on their cheeks like Kevin from Home Alone. "GASP!!" they both hollered.

"I KNOW!!" Temari screamed. Suddenly, she got all sweet and had a halo over her head and angel wings. "I'm going to go punch the Nara kid all the way to Saturn," she sweetly and innocently said.

Still wearing her halo and wings, Temari got up and walked to Shikamaru's house. When she left, Kankuro and Gaara had nothing better to do, so they walked upstairs and ordered a bunch of Care Bears on eBay.

When she arrived at the Nara residence, Temari sweetly knocked on the Nara's door, only to be greeted by Shikamaru's dad, Shikaku. "Hello?" Shikaku asked when he opened the door.

"Hello," Temari sweetly said, "may I please speak with your son?" Shikaku nodded. "Shikamaru!! Company!!"

Temari walked into the living room to scream at Shikamaru like there was no tomorrow, only to find him...GASP!! Making out with INO on the couch!?

"Shikamaru," Temari sweetly and innocently said...

"YOU COULDN'T DO IT IN PERSON?!" Temari asked violently, the halo and wings disappearing. Shikaku and Shikamaru's mother ran out of the house for dear life.

"Do what in person?" Ino asked Shikamaru.

"YOU HAD TO TEXT MESSAGE BREAKUP?! YOU MESS UP!! OH MY GOSH I WANNA THROW UP!!"

Shikamaru looked at Temari quizzically while Ino rolled on the couch laughing.

"YOU COULDN'T EVEN SPELL BREAK RIGHT? B-R-A-K-E? THAT'S IN YOUR CAR DUMMY!!"

Shikamaru looked at Ino with a "Really?" look on his face. Ino shrugged.

"AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS DISGRACE!! I'LL BE LIKE MACE IN YOUR FACE ON MYSPACE!!"

Shikamaru mumbled under his breath, "I don't even _have _a Myspace..."

"JUST WAIT TILL YOU READ THE CRAP ON YOU I'M GONNA BLOG ABOUT!! YOU LIKE TEXT SO MUCH? HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT NOW?!"

Shikamaru looked startled. There was an eighteen year old Suna girl in his living room with his girlfriend screaming at him because he broke up with her via text. This was quite enjoyable to Ino.

Suddenly, Gaara popped up from out of nowhere. He looked all calm and nonchalant as usual. You could hear crickets chirping. Then, his face got all red and steam blew out of his ears. "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

Then, Kankuro popped out from behind Gaara's back. "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

After that, the Third Hokage called down from Heaven, "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

Temari was really angry. "AFTER TWO YEARS?!" By now, Ino was having trouble breathing, she was laughing so hard.

Anko slammed the door open. "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

Orochimaru then popped in through the window and screamed, "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

Then, the whole Akatsuki organization poofed in. "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

"GET A CLUE!!" Temari hollered.

Every single character that's ever appeared on the show, even the dead ones, suddenly popped in Shikamaru's house. "YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!!"

Temari still wasn't done hollering. "I'M GONNA SEND YOU A BAG OF CRAP IN THE MAIL!!" Shikamaru nodded like nothing was happening.

"I'M GONNA USE THE SAME WEAPON AGAINST YOU!! CAUSE I CAN TYPE TOO!!" Temari hollered. "EX BF FOREVER JERK!! YOU'RE MY EX BF FOREVER JERK!!"

Shikamaru's ears were now bleeding. He needed to holler right back at Temari. "WHO CARES IF I FLIPPIN' TEXT MESSAGE BROKE UP WITH YOU?! HUH?! I'M TOO FLIPPIN' LAZY TO RUN TO ANOTHER FLIPPIN' VILLAGE TO DO SOMETHING AS TROUBLESOME AS BREAKING UP WITH YOU IN PERSON!! AND YOU WANNA THROW UP?! WELL THERE'S A GARBAGE CAN OVER THERE!! AND IF I'M TEXTING, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW THE HECK I SPELL BREAK!! AND FOR THE LAST!! FLIPPIN'!! TIME!! I DON'T HAVE A FLIPPIN' MYSPACE!! SO WHERE ARE YOU GONNA BLOG CRAP ABOUT ME?! HUH?! AND, OMG!! YOU CAN TYPE TOO!! REALLY!! SO CAN THE WHOLE FLIPPIN' WORLD!! CAN YOU PEOPLE JUST GET OUT SO ME AND INO CAN HAVE SOME ALONE TIME!?!?!"

Ino was rolling on the floor laughing.

Temari was stomping on Shikamaru's face.

Shikaku and Shikamaru's mother came inside their home because they knew it was now safe.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Shikamaru's mom asked.

Everyone except Ino pointed at Shikamaru. "HE TEXT MESSAGE BREAKED UP!!"

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**OMG!! I loved that!! Tee-hee, that was a great fic!! I loved Shikamaru's outburst at the end!! So anyway, PLEASE review!! Something tells me I'll get a lot of REVIEWS on this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!! Ja ne, MMM-chan. **


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